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Dear Jesus, I Don’t Understand Bombs and Refugees

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I don’t know where to start or what to say about all the pain that is swirling.

 

I have only seen children who sleep as refugees and the pain in Paris on the thin screen of my television.  And although I have held the hand of a girl who smiled big on a pile of rocks in Haiti and have seen all kinds of loss and grief in my life, I have no measuring stick for the terrorist attacks and refugees and politics that are swirling.

 

I can’t understand it all and I won’t pretend that I do.  I can’t know the wandering and the not-knowing, the death right there splattered red. The only thing I knew to do with all my feelings was to write to Jesus:

 

Dear Jesus,

Jesus there are some things that just downright don’t make sense. If I’m honest, I have to fight back anger and deep sadness some days.  What I have seen up close and scrolling across the screens from oceans away makes me scared and doubtful.  And as if I don’t have a voice.  But you didn’t create me with a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, and love.”  (2Tim 1:7) And so if I am going to speak, let it be to you first. . .

(my letter is over at Outside the City Gate today) I’d love to pray together over there…

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She Knows Why the Caged Bird Sings

by with 5 Comments BlogFaith

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My friend Anna told me the story of Cruit, the caged bird.
A bird who lived through the shadow of death, temporarily lost his ability to fly, and sang despite his circumstances.
His story never left me.

Cruit was born different. His feet were crooked, twisted and strange, and there were other signs. Mama birds don’t often kick their young out of the nest, but if they do, it is because they are sick or deformed. The mother senses that something is very wrong and the baby will not survive on its own.

Cruit was kicked out of the nest by his mother before his feathers had even formed.

The small bird’s naked, pink body had been pushed from a perch high in a tree. He was expected to die. Miraculously he not only survived, but he somehow willed himself toward a house and was found at a neighbor’s back door. Anna is convinced he knew that he had to get to people to for any chance at life. He had been rejected by his own. She learned of his needs and brought him to the safety of a cage on her back porch. Her home has become a sanctuary. Blue jays and finches, abandoned squirrels, injured roosters or chickens or chipmunks are welcome here. She cares for them in a way I have never witnessed before. Anna treats each one with unique kindness and a deep knowledge of what they need.

It’s heart work.

Cruit’s feet may have been twisted and his fall devastating, but as he grew, his personality was larger than life. He talked incessantly to Anna and other birds, and to himself. His injuries dictated that he remain in an enclosed setting because in the wild other birds recognize “special needs” and kill birds like him. Nobody wants different in their gene pool. He would never be released into the wild and made his home in his cage, released only to the safety of the screened-in porch. Because Cruit lived through the fall, the isolation and injury, he was already a miracle.

But it was molting season that would change him.

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Birds molt yearly, losing their feathers a few at a time, the body part that their very life depends on. The process doesn’t happen all at once. Feathers fall out in sections. This allows them to continue to fly, otherwise birds would be in danger. God thinks of everything, huh?
But for Cruit, something in the combination of losing his tail feathers and the twisting of his feet grounded him. The physics were all off during the molting process.  He couldn’t fly for awhile, and the loss of flight made him depressed. Anna would take him out of his cage and place him in different spots in the sun room. But he had lost his voice and the use of his wings.

His molting reminds me of 3 weeks into chemotherapy all those years ago, and how my hair came out in patches. How I’d stand in the shower and tufts would cling between my fingers. And how I’d let them go and watch the brown curls gather in the drain.

There are some seasons of molting that we never forget.

Cruit’s story of being pushed out and falls and twisted legs and being different and molting got me thinking. And what I thought is that if anyone looked like Jesus to him it had to be my friend Anna.

Because Anna knew how to talk life back into the one who believed that the last push really should have killed him. She knew how to create a cage to keep him safe, and how to nurse wounds of rejection. She knew how to continue talking even when the fragile one couldn’t answer, and how to see his beauty through a patchy bunch of useless feathers.

It was Anna that got to hear his voice once again when Cruit’s bald places grew back in and he could soar once more in the safety of her watch.

And Anna knows why the caged bird sings. It’s a song of gratitude.

 

 

Tara

Mission Beautiful

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{I’m opening up this space to my friend Tara today. Where do I begin with this beautiful one?….I don’t think she needs an introduction, just read her words. She’s a soul-sister and sees grace everywhere just as God intended it. I love her, and you will, too…}

I can feel the shift happening…it is slow and gentle, but the message is catching on to companies and media. Beauty can’t be defined by thigh gaps, numbers on a scale, or your perfect outfit. Glamour and Vogue magazines have published multiple covers featuring plus-sized models. Hollywood stars are being photographed sans makeup, runway models are looking healthier, and self-esteem projects have flooded the media. Videos are circulating of digitally-altered models before and after scenes, beauty sketches by Dove, and campaigns to redefine the beauty standards for our little girls in this country.

I am the spiritual leader of some of these girls, about 25 of them. Some are my daughters, some are members of our youth group, and some are girls who have found me. They have been bullied, beaten down, broken, and hurt. These girls  feel unworthy, unloved, abandoned, and damaged. And many feel that way because of how beauty and happiness has been defined by society. Some come from beautiful homes with loving parents, whole family units, straight A’s and picket fences. Some are pushed around, have social anxiety, don’t fit in, self-harm, have suicidal thoughts, or just don’t feel noticeable. Pain isn’t just for those with unfortunate circumstances.

My co-leader and I were shocked at the number of girls who were struggling with feelings of low self-esteem, unworthiness, and negative self-talk. We felt led to try our best to make a difference and launched a group called “Circle of Sisters” in August of 2013. We wanted to create a safe space for the girls to come and fellowship together. A place where they could talk about their pain, be accepted for their differences, seek advice and wisdom from the open-hearted, and relax…just relax…and be a kid.

It has been one of the biggest blessings of my life. Getting to know each one of these girls, their personalities, talents, beauty, and what sets them apart from the crowd. We have had giggles and tears, secrets and confessions, breakdowns and prayers. They get the same message every week:  God is there, God is your strength, and God has made you beautiful in his image. You are enough, you are unique, and you ARE WORTHY.
In the process of helping lead this group, I also opened the doors to a long-awaited photography company. I was excited to get started, but wanted to start it with giving back in some way. After all, God had blessed me so many times over, and it was only by His Grace that this was possible. Then came the idea for Mission Beautiful.

 

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My idea was to give the girls the experience of what a true photo shoot entails, and pictures to remind them that they are beautiful and uniquely made. I knew that this was going to take a village of volunteers to pull off…so I reached out to some of my dearest and talented friends. Makeup artists, wardrobe stylists, and a sweet friend and fellow photographer volunteered on a beautiful Saturday to help make this happen. For weeks the girls planned their “looks” and swapped wardrobe ideas and hairstyling tips. Others volunteered props, organizational skills, clothing racks, tables for the event, and their time. The day of the event arrived…and although a bit of chaos was to be expected, it was perfect. Flat irons, cookies, laughter, tears, hairspray and lip gloss happened, but more importantly, girls began to shine by being themselves.

 

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It’s hard to love yourself…even as an adult I still struggle daily to accept myself and love the skin I am in. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for our teens in this day and age to be confident and to embrace their uniqueness.

No matter the words that are spoken by others, you must believe your worth in your heart. God’s work is an inside job.

Currently there are plans in the works for another Mission Beautiful…more lovely ladies to make feel pretty (and hopefully remind them that this isn’t a fluke…God really DID make you beautiful) but more encouraging is the feedback from the girls. Every time I see a picture from that day posted, I am reminded that they felt beautiful. These girls now have a flood of ideas for their future that involve giving back, sharing their life experiences with girls, support groups, & non profit organizations…all with the name Mission Beautiful. Oh, He is so GOOD!

Proverbs 31:25   She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

TaraTara is a self-proclaimed job nomad who has, after many life lessons, found her calling in photography. Spiritual leader, mission trip junkie, elephant chaser and mommy to many, she finds peace in her children’s laughter, mountain streams, and on her yoga mat. She calls Georgia home, where she exists in a constant state of chaos with her 6 kids, hot hubby, and a menagerie of animals.

Find Tara at Earthmama Photography on Facebook here.

She also makes Instagram beautiful.

In the Atlanta area?  Contact her at Earthmama Photography:  (678) 600-1768

 

*All photos by Earthmama Photography. Special thanks to Karen Nickel at Karen Nickel Photography for lending her creative photography talents, and to the countless volunteers and creative brains behind this project.